I think I can*

Should have been asleep more than an hour ago but have been caught up looking at (i.e. stalking) the Facebook profiles of UP students who are studying in Europe right now because of a scholarship. Knowing about this scholarship greatly cheered me up now. Hoping to apply for its journalism masters program as soon as possible.

Practicing a song for my Rizal Studies class made me stalk my group mate who wrote the song my group will present next week. Found out that he is one of the best classical guitarists of the country. No wonder I was so amazed by his guitar-playing skills. He composed the melody of the song my group will present all by himself, and provided us the sheet music as well as the mp3 of the song so it’s easy for us to just learn and memorize the song.

A good friend of mine is flying to the United States this weekend for a semester of studying at the Missouri School of Journalism. She’s without a doubt one of the best in the batch I belong to, and so I believe she really deserves the opportunity given to her now.

I am surrounded by a lot of talented people. I could get intimidated, but what I feel is more of jealousy, although not the telenovela kind. I am envious of their accomplishments, but then again, I can always try to apply to programs that are better suited to my abilities, i.e., in my opinion, journalism and writing. I just pray I will get to experience the things the people I stalked this morning are experiencing right now–especially the ones who are studying for their degrees in Europe, completely compensated.

I tried applying for a journalism program last year. I have yet to know its result, and I know my getting accepted is a long shot. But my principle in life right now is to try stuff and take risks despite being unsure of the outcomes, despite the workload involved in the applications. It’s better than conking yourself in the end thinking of what could have been. At least I know I tried. I know it’s better to be accepted after trying, but hey, if I don’t get in the programs I’m applying, knowing my applications were submitted, then received and read are enough. I can always try again.

Then again, though, if I could get accepted to the programs I want to get in right now, why not? Why not. I don’t know if I have delusions of grandeur, but I’ve always thought of myself as a person who will achieve something great, even if it means working from backstage as a journalist.

I know I am not the leader type, I know that I don’t have summa cum laude grades, I know I am not an officer in any organization, but what I know is, given the chance, I can match the skills of those people who do have the positions and grades that I do not. I learned about what I can do during my journalism internship last summer. I learned I could handle work, and I could be diligent and hard-working and resourceful in journalism, when I almost thought I wouldn’t cut it. What happened was people there believed in me enough without coddling me, and so I was encouraged by their feedback and was inspired to do more.

And now, on the cusp of graduation and knowing I want to work in online media– and specialize in health reporting out of the different beats most of all–I want to be able to study more, and work more, in other locales and countries and fellowships and programs, before settling down to the world of journalism. And so my quest for scholarships continues. And so do my prayers. I hope I achieve this quest as soon as possible. 2012, please give me a kickass year.

 

*Apologies to The Little Engine that Could.